Italian Manager Mid Season Review (Season 2)

Impartial and honest Top Italian Journalist, Gino Kinnearo (Cousin of Liverpool Boss Gordon) sat down with Top 100 Sports News to give a 'frank' and honest assessment of each ITALIAN club thus far this season.

Juventus (DP 91) 3/10 – 

Gino has been devastated and feels destroyed by the Ice Mans quiet manipulative approach to management in Top 100 which has been ignored by the authorities. His vindictive messages and perceived persona of Mr Nice Guy has led to an uptake in the number of managers cashing in their SM credits for stays at the Top 100 Rehab Mental Hospital.  Sure his Juventus side might be in 3^rd place but DP’s hand gestures of why and his sad faces have drawn the referees sympathy to his side and all of a sudden the number of red cards for opposing sides, the number of opposition goals ruled out for offside or fouls has increased by 523%. Mark my words if DP wins any silverware this season he will have gotten blood on his hands somewhere along the way.

ACF Fiorentina (Mister Malcolm) 4/10 –

It pains me to say this but the self-proclaimed winner of the Italian Team of the Year Awards Season 2 is doing ok with Fiorentina this season. However I think it is imperative to point out that there is no chance in his dinosaur approach, many managers have complained about his lack of ambition outside of his defensive third and I agree it is about as boring to watch as an Andrew Griffiths speech.

Inter Milan (Brian Clough) 1/10 – 

After Doctor Fox failed to inspire and impress after PMW had quit before he was sacked the appointment of Brain Clough pleased many Inter fans but Clough soon fell foul of the rules and found himself under transfer ban which has meant he has been unable to add to his side. His early form at the San Siro was so shocking that the situation soon became as messier as the scene at OJ Simpsons house back in the day. Clough clearly wasn’t walking on water, he was in fact struggling to tread water as the Division One sharks circled below. He will go down! 

Lazio (Fred Dodger) 2/10 – 

Kinnearo feels that it was a bit of a dodgy and mysterious choice in appointing Scobby-doo’s best friend Fred as manager of Lazio. Fred came to Lazio after a questionable performance in charge of Galatasaray where the fans regularly rioted at his inability to turn them into Champions of the World. With Lazio struggling and Dodger seemingly unable to stop their slide to Division Two Kinnearo is calling for action from the Lazio board to ensure that Dodging decisions are not made again.

AC Milan (Stephen Beddows) 9.5/10 –

 “A tremendous talent who suffers due to the corruption across the Division” these were the choice words of Kinnearo which he says still hold true. “If Beddows was God then the World would be a peaceful place. He manages an odd collection of egos in his side and gets a tune out of them.” Kinnearo is confident that Beddows and his side will emerge victorious in their battle to stay up, but has admitted that a change in levels of corruption will be necessary to make this happen.

Napoli (Rob Ryan) 6/10 - 

It is a good job that the HSE have no influence in Campagna as Rob Ryan’s training methods are more dangerous Raqqa. Rob is proving himself as a competent manager, yet he is also incapable of managing the players and the fans expectations who have demanded “Champions” as a minimum expectation this season. The fact that he has nicknamed himself RR – Roger Rabbit has not amused Kinnearo who has compared him to more like Peter Rabbitt, a small, spoilt child who is interested in only stealing from the gardens of those clubs and managers more glamorous than him. 

Roma (Neil Frankland) 5/10 – 

Having taking over Rome only last season it could be argued that Neil Frankland has done a good job but Gino Kinnearo was quick to pick out the indiscrepancies in Neil’s rule… “Frankland goes on with excuses and more excuses of how Rome wasn’t build in a day… but this it utter bull and the man has more excuses than a corrupt politician!”  Kinnearo was also anxious to make it publically known that Neil Frankland does in fact have a caffeine addiction and is regularly seen snorting powered coffee before matches and training sessions. He concluded stating that there is more chance of DP and Juventus winning the league that Neil Frankland and Rome playing alongside the big boys next season!

Sampdoria (Gav Harmer) 1/10 – 

Gav Harmer’s managerial approach is more odd a sight than a Pink Ferrari at a Moscow Skoda Rally, Kinnearo made mention in his report of Gav pre-season boisterous optimism… “It’s Our Year” which was strewn across all of the Italian media yet it has not transpired to be the case. In fact Gav’s job is in more peril than Frank’s wallet in the Liverpool Megastore, with Harmer's harmful influence threatening the entire existence of Sampdoria as a Top 100 club.

Sassuolo (Bob Groucho Sal) 1/10 – 

The Canadian struck up quite a stir when he turned up to the first training session of the new season in his ice skates and armed with some puks and he continues to show no knowledge of the beautiful game with his insistence still in press conferences that his full backs are quarter backs who pump the ball long all the time. With Maple Syrup now a staple for all fans and players on match days and the players waist lines getting more out of control than the EU refugee crisis it appears that down and out is the only way Bob is going with not even a bottle of Viagra likely to keep them up.

Genoa (Frank Hirst) 5/10 -  

A solid 5 out of 10 from Kinnearo. Frank or Franco as he has became known for his brutal regime in the Port City has done well, shrewd in the transfer market and doing ok in the league… yet there are concerns that in narrow alleys of the Old City that SM Credits are changing hands faster than confetti with rumours that match fixing is a serious issue in Division Four, most often in Frank’s favour. Kinnearo has uncovered concrete evidence that this is the case and as such cannot give Frank higher than a 5/10

Torino (Michael Hudson) 4/10 – 

Huddo continues to bounce up and down about how good he is as a manager, yet in truth he fears that he will fail again to bring promotion to the 2^nd club in Turin. Despite a sponsorship deal with Fiat which has seen all of the players get new cars which are filled with pictures of Kanagroo’s on the bodywork this has not endeared them to the Turin public with many of the mostly migrant Albanian and North African population of the city choosing to follow the cheating wink wink master that is Mr DP. However Gino has been impressed that Torino do have a slight chance of promotion hence the generous award of 4/10.

Atalanta (Sean Cass) 3/10 – 

In his last managerial review of Italian managers Gino gave Sean a 6/10 yet he has halved his assessment claiming that Cass has moved the side backwards and not forwards and that even snail pace advancing would not have been good enough. He claims the football at Bergamo is both stale and over hyped and that most fans cannot wait to get to the airport post match to get back home. Gino was also highly critical of Sean’s unwillingness to sell some of his players to Milan for £££££££ which would be after all for the good of Italian football in the long run.

Chievo Verona (Paddy D) 3/10 

Since his appointment Gino has had his reservations about Paddy, anyone with a name like Paddy is bound to be a failure and it appears his lack of ambition, contentness with mid-table mediocrity will be his downfall and deserves nothing more than 3/10. Kinnearo is highly critical of Chievo Verona’s player’s reliability on alcohol since Paddy’s arrival, with the black stuff being the chosen poison to cope with their impending doom. It is little wonder that many players are demanding transfers! 

Udinese (Attila Olah) 2/10 

Attila or Father as it means in native speak is nothing but a fraud. He claims to lead the hoarding masses into pastures new in pursuit of glory yet he himself seems happy in Udine! What a dump! His perseverance with the oldest warrior of them all, Di Natale, is frankly laughable and Attila is about as much of a Hun as Justin Bieber is a warrior.

MANAGER OF THE HALF-SEASON SO FAR FROM ELSEWHERE IN SMTOP100:

Dynamo Moscow (Sherief Razzaque) 10.5/10 

Sherief Razzaque has really impressed Gino, not only as he adapted to the Moscow winter well he has also became fluent in the language very quickly (which is in no way credited to his Putin appointed Mistresses’). Prior to Razzaque’s appointment the football at the Arena Khimki was stony, emotionless, cold and frigid but Razzaque’s unique approach to man management and using images and pictures to describe to his players how he wants the game to be played have been a breath of fresh air in a Frank Hirst corruption dominated Division Four. One Moscow native described Razzaque and his style of football in 3 simple words, mesmerising, magnificent and modern…